Q: My daughter receives extra credit for bringing in Campbell ’s Soup labels. I sent her to school with two in a bag but found the bag later on with the labels still inside. She showed me her extra credit pass, so I know her teacher gave her credit. But I also know she couldn’t have turned in the labels she swore she took to school. I sent her to her room until she tells me the truth and confesses to her teacher. Did I do the right thing?
A: All children lie at one time or another. The best way to help your children not to lie is to avoid asking them questions to which you know the answer. To wit, you knew she had not taking the extra credit paper to school. Therefore, act accordingly.
Don’t give her a chance to lie by asking her about the labels, just proceed as if she had told you the truth. She didn’t turn in the labels, and so her extra credit was not received legitimately. Now you must decide on a punishment, which I would make sure invokes the Agony Principle (parents should not agonize over anything a child does or fails to do if the child his perfectly capable of agonizing over it herself, from John Rosemond’s The Well-Behaved Child) ”
Her punishment should include a handwritten note of apology to her teacher. And tell her that you’ll follow up with her teacher to make sure she receives it. My article “Why Do Children Lie?” explores lying and kids in more detail.
Do you have a parenting question you would like to see answered on this blog? Email Sarah through the contact page with Parenting Question in the subject line.
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