One on One Time

When other parents learn we have four children, their first response is usually along the lines of "How do you do it?" and the second is, "How do you find time for your kids?"

Both represent a misconception of how much parental time and outside activities children need. We're firm believers that children should--and are perfectly capable of--entertaining themselves. Therefore, from an early age, we provided a bit of direction and left them to their own devices. Yes, sometimes they express their boredom with the world, to which we point them in the direction of the chore jar.

But that's not to say we don't enjoy doing things for and with our kids. Time around a board game or at the zoo can be a wonderful time of fellowship and bonding as a family. Sometimes, though, kids do need some alone time with Mom or Dad. Here's our solution: Breakfast with Mom or Dad.

Here's how it works: I draw up a schedule in which every other Friday morning, one child goes to breakfast with Mom or Dad, who rotate through the children. That child gets to pick the restaurant and have some alone time with a parent before school.

Our four-year-old picked Chick-fil-A, and spent a wonderful time in the play area after breakfast. Our six-year-old loves Dunkin' Donuts, while our ten-year-old enjoys First Watch restaurant and our eight-year-old likes Denny's.

The conversation runs from comments on the upcoming school day to comments on favorite books or subjects. What we discuss isn't nearly as important as the one-on-one time spent with each child.

For us, breakfast works because everyone in the family loves the a.m. meal and everyone is around in the morning. My husband has enough flexibility to arrive to work a bit later those days and the kids get on the bus late enough to make breakfast work for us.

Some families do dessert or ice cream "dates," while others choose movies or park visits. Working something else into your schedule might seem daunting, but the payoff and the personal time is worth the effort. You could start out with once a month and go from there--just scheduling the dates shows how important you view your child, and the follow through with the outing can be priceless.

With January nearly over, you still have time to start a new family tradition of one-on-one time with your kids this year. You'll be glad you did.

Until next time,
Sarah