Classical Child Rearing: Jane Austen On Parenting

The first in an occasional blog post on classic books that provide insights into parenting.

That Jane Austen has commented on parenting shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. After all, she’s famous for her skewering of society in novels like Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion. Austen never married—and therefore never had children—which might lead some to say she couldn’t have had anything to say about child rearing.

A closer view of her body of works would find that she has a lot to say about parenting. For example, in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett tries in vain to convince her father to not let younger sister Lydiaaccompany the Forsters to Brighton, foreseeing some of the disaster that did happen.

Elizabeth went to Mr. Bennett in secret to beg him not to give his permission for the trip. His reply demonstrates that he knows his youngest daughter, but that he’s oblivious to the real danger: “‘Lydia will never be easy till she has exposed herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances.’”

Mr. Bennett reveals that his main concern is a quiet house: “We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydiadoes not go to Brighton.” His willingness to have peace at all costs—and to fob off to someone else the responsibility of a daughter whose behavior he himself had failed to check—shows that he has abdicated his role as head of the house when it comes to child rearing.

Throughout Pride and Prejudice, Austen shows a keen understanding of how parents ought not to act with her portrayal of the Bennetts. Mrs. Bennett’s desire to be popular with her daughters renders her an ineffective mentor in the girls’ teenage years. Mr. Bennett’s desire for peace and quiet makes him ineffectual as a guiding figure in their lives as well.

Austen also subtly points out that such parenting doesn’t necessarily produce flighty offspring. While the three younger Bennett girls lack manners and impulse control, the two elder (Jane and Elizabeth) turn out well despite their parents. Austen shows us in fiction form the truth that parenting does not produce the child. The child produces the child.

What can we as parents learn from Pride and Prejudice? Two things come to mind:

• To do the right thing as parents even when that is not popular with our kids.
• To not shrink from correcting our children when necessary, even when it disturbs our peace.

The next time you read or watch Pride and Prejudice, watch the parents—and learn from their mistakes.

Until next time,

Sarah