Letting Go

As mothers, we have a tendency to want things done our way. And let’s face it—most of the time, our way is the best way. But that doesn’t mean that other ways are not as good.

Speaking personally, that’s hard for me to swallow at times, this idea that my way might be the best way, but it’s not the only way something can be accomplished. From cleaning to cooking, from diapering to dressing, we mothers can be pretty imperial when it comes to modifications to our way of doing things.

Sometimes this spills over to our husbands, those wonderful men who want to shoulder the burden of raising our delightful children. Now men in general are a bit clueless when it comes to the niceties of life. They don’t generally notice that the ribbons in our daughter’s hair should match the socks, which match the jumper, which matches the shirt. No, there are some things that fall off the radar when it comes to men.

But that doesn’t mean their way of parenting isn’t a good way of doing things. You’d think we as women would be grateful to have help with the diapering and the washing and the feeding, but the way some of us act when our husbands do take a shift with the kids, you would think they were incapable nincompoops who shouldn’t be left alone with the wee ones.

I remember the first time my husband held our firstborn bundle of joy. Yes, he was awkward and terrified, but instead of adjusting his tenuous hold on her, I encouraged him. I bit my lip and smiled at the sight of her clothes on backwards and her diaper sagging after Daddy had dressed her. I kept on smiling when he fed the kids non-nutritionally balanced meals and kept them up past naptime or bedtime when he took them on outings without me.

Now, don’t think I was grinning and bearing it—no, I was learning to let go and let my husband, the father of our children, take the lead and do things his way. Yes, it wasn’t the way I would have done things, but the kids were always okay and having a fabulous time with Dad.

Rather than berate our husbands for not being us, let’s celebrate their different ways of doing things. The more we can encourage and let go, the more our husbands will step up to the plate and shoulder some of the responsibility of raising our children. 

So what if he lets them wear their church clothes to the ballpark or he forgets to put rain boots on the toddler? Exercise your sense of humor, and find laughter and love in the way he operates. Above all, simply enjoy your differences and relax.

Until next time,

Sarah