“The problem is that when a person in a leadership position attempts to establish a close relationship with the people he is leading, his effectiveness as a leader is canceled. Children need good leadership, at least until they have developed good impulse control.” –John Rosemond in Parent Babble
Many parents unfortunately have abandoned their leadership role in the home in lieu of having a relationship with their children. Effective leaders don’t have relationships with their employees; effective leaders realize that leading is what their workers need, not a friend or confidant.
Parents concerned with relationships tend to hesitate, waffle and avoid confrontations and discipline with their children, being more concerned with how their child will react to the instruction than how their child needs such correction. Parents concerned with relationships worry about their children liking them.
On the other hand, effective leaders make decisions based on the good of the company, not on whether their employees will like the decision. Effective leaders can take it when workers are upset with their policies. They know as leaders they have to make tough decisions that their workers won’t understand until they are in leadership positions themselves. Effective leaders do not waffle. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
For parents, being an effective leader means not being popular with your children; making hard decisions your children will not like or understand until they themselves are parents; and giving clear instructions without explanations.
For more on effective leadership, check out the January newsletter, “The Importance of Leadership.” You can sign up to receive this free, monthly e-newsletter on the Newsletter tab.
Until next time,
Sarah
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